3.30 am


October really isn't going well for me.

Woke up at 1:30am from yet another nightmare. Its worst. My heart is heavy as fuck and i cant breathe properly. I was sobbing and trying so hard to breathe, cry silently, and hug my pillow til i fall asleep again. No one will ever know how painful it was.

Been telling myself things like this happened not often, but day by day, i stumbled over new problems. I dont even think i could be mentally stable at any given moment super exhausted and drained and all. Everything is seriously not going well inside. It feels like im currently at the lowest point of my life.

And fuck this anxiety honestly i feel nothing but tiredness, tired of telling myself that everything will be alright eventho i know it wont.

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