And it is so hard
Started crying again and suddenly thought i need to talk to someone. Its so frustrating that now i have to rely on someone for support system that i cant just be on my own. i miss the moment when my actions/thoughts/feelings arent influenced by the externals, by anything but myself, the most liberating time when i dont have to depend on anything. like right now my tolerance for being alone is getting lower and lower it baffles me how the wall that i've been building to suppress the need of *needing* someone is.. where is it now