Postingan

A z r i e l

‘In love’ doesn’t even begin to describe what I feel for my man. Even the world and entire universe cant describe how much I love my man. He’s my everything and I hope he knows I’m never going to leave his side. I hope he knows he's my whole world. I hope he knows my heart is so full of him; my mind is always thinking about him; and my love for him will never fade. He makes me feel as though I'm floating through life on a cloud. Regardless of what I may be dealing with each and every day, I’m so happy and grateful to be with him. He’s the first to support me when times get tough. It’s a blessing to have a man that genuinely makes me feel better, even if everything on the outside is going to shit. Ive never felt so loved and secure in my life, i literally cry about it once a month. I feel so seen and understood and strong. I’m so thankful to have a man that genuinely loves me down bad and does any and everything he can to let me know that. I love this man with everything I have ...

A Loss

Have you ever been hurt by someone you thought will never hurt you? It's not that the wound hurts. It's realizing who's holding the weapon that attacked you... That's what hurts the most. Losing a friend is truly heartbreaking. Separating from the person you used to know, it feels like a thousand pieces falling apart. And you wish you could fix everything but time takes its all and the moments begin to fade. All the memories you’ve shared together fade away. A loss.

F October

Do u know what’s terrifying?  u NEVER know someone’s true intentions.  u NEVER know what someone’s thinking. Trusting people is scary. knowing that they can go against u at any time. enough to let them into ur life comes with a risk and sometimes it feels like ure stepping into the unknown. its like giving them ur back and a knife, and letting them chose; stabbing or protecting u.  it’s the absolute fear that u never actually know someone’s true intentions like u just have to believe them and hope ur no gettin fucked over?  It's sad and unfortunate when we think some people r genuinely good, but they end up being a big disappointment. Trust is already hard to give, and when this happens, it makes it even harder.

Priceless Feeling

Next time you fall in love, make sure that you are ready to fall and build the love together, not just because you are lonely. Of course there are trial and error in the process of having this "perfect love" to finally found someone who could give you the best love that you deserve, the perfect love and this perfect person also come from the same effort, mutual understanding to make it work.  There are no easy perfect lovely and beautiful relationship that doesn't require sacrifice, arguments.  Takes lots of thicks and thins and so much hard conversations but you will know when you finally found someone that could hold your hands together to face it all.  I believe sooner or later you will found yours.  One day you will found someone who will make all the waiting finally seem to worth it. The one person that could make you feel safe in their arms and you realized that they are worth your existence and your time. Being surrounded by genuine people who actually care ab...

Wanna love and be loved

I wanna sit on someone’s lap and feed them strawberries and gaze into their eyes lovingly while also occasionally giggling bc of how happy and giddy they make me feel. I wanna be loved at my best, and also at my lowest, I wanna feel loved when I feel the prettiest, also when I feel the ugliest. I want to be loved for who I am, when I make mistakes, when i learn and grow old.  I just wanna feel genuine love.

And it is so hard

Started crying again and suddenly thought i need to talk to someone. Its so frustrating that now i have to rely on someone for support system that i cant just be on my own.  i miss the moment when my actions/thoughts/feelings arent influenced by the externals, by anything but myself, the most liberating time when i dont have to depend on anything. like right now my tolerance for being alone is getting lower and lower it baffles me how the wall that i've been building to suppress the need of *needing* someone is.. where is it now

Adulthood sucks

Life was good when all we have to deal with is food, studies and playing. And when im at school, it's just all about community and support and high hopes.  Not enough people talk about how the transition to adulthood is sucks. I don’t have the privilege of crying whenever i want to. I have to dress well, smile big and communicate in an event that i never wanted to attend. I really gotta show up to everything even when im feeling extremely down, when all what i rly needed was to rot in bed and forget about my entire existence Adulthood sucks I have to think about so many thing just before making a plan. I have to adjust so many thing, postpone my work & make some time out to meet with friends. Life was so good earlier when we just used to make plan just one day ago.  No rethinks, no tension. But adulthood makes me realize that life is not about having a life with no problem.  It’s about learning how to deal with your problems.  You’ll always have issues.  Lea...